you won't be here long enough to change anything, except perhaps the way you think

We were told this at our orientation last weekend, and now that I'm at my placement I see how true it is.  I'm staying at the volunteer dorms nearby, about a 20 minute walk from the childrens home itself.  The volunteer dorms are in quite an affluent neighborhood, and the contrast in living conditions that I pass in those 20 minutes is shocking.  The houses and gardens are grand, walled in and protected by security.  By the time you reach the childrens home you are walking through a dustbowl, skinny cows grazing on the side of the road. 

Its been a pretty tough week, with seeing the kids and the home itself.  The home is a government run transitional house, the only one in Kenya for children under 6.  So kids come here from all over the country if they have been orphaned, abused, or lost.  Many of the lost children were separated from their parents in the violence surrounding the 2007 elections, its very hard to know whether the parents are still in Kenya, or even alive.  The home has a maximum of 50 children, and its current population is 92.  Children are only supposed to stay for a maximum of 6 months, until a permanent home can be found, but this maximum is often passed as well. 

The home is incredibly underfunded.  I've been helping with the laundry in the mornings, which has given me a chance to talk with the staff to find out more about their situation.  They work long hours and are paid next to nothing, 7 days a week and holidays, all with the hope that they will be able to continue to pay their own childrens school fees.  One of the workers supports his family who continue to live on the homestead, and he only gets to see them every couple of months. 

The hardest part has been working with the children.  They only speak Swahilli, as only those who can attend school are able to learn english.  The home is so very dirty, and there has been an outbreak of chicken pox recently, and the scabs are quickly infected.  Many of the children literally cry all day.  Its hard to watch a child cry and then observe the workers not comforting them, but I'm trying to remember that often times the workers know more about the situation than I do.  Case in point is little Denny, two months old, who I've been spending alot of time with, comforting him when he cries and holding him.  Now he won't fall asleep without being rocked and is alot more fussy and when the other children see the attention he receives they cry to receive it as well.  So it is all very overwhelming, the children shouldn't have to go without love because of a lack of funding, but that seems to be the case.  There are no other volunteers at the placement, and I don't think the director wants me to spend too much time with the children, to keep them from becoming attached.  So there are alot of moments when i feel quite useless. 

At the end of the week things had started to improve, the workers are starting to trust me more around the children, so hopefully in the next week I can suggest starting a project for the kids.  Currently, the workers suggest I simply "play" with them, but with 90 kids jumping, pulling and scratching at me its more than i can handle and the situation quickly deteriorates into the kids fighting each other for attention, punching and kicking and crying.  So I need to figure out something that will have a bit of structure and focus.  Perhaps splitting the children into groups and taking one group each afternoon and starting an arts or reading class with them.  Over the weekend I spoke with other volunteers, so I feel a bit more optimistic than I did in the middle of last week.

I also went on Safari this weekend, which was brilliant, but i'll have to save that post for another time.  I hope all is well with everyone.  Thank you so much for the comments, its so nice to hear about what is happening at home!  I'm getting more comfortable getting around so hopefully I'll be able to get myself onto the computer again soon to post some pictures.

Love!  jessie